Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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