Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
