Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
