Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
