were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
