smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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