I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
