I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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