The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
