I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
