why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
