i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
