I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
