If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize
