it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
