It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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