Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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