I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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