if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
