We're facebook friends in real life
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
