can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
