do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
