just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
