oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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