used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
