The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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