How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
