THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
