Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
try to milk me bitch
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