Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
