The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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