They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
