READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
