No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
