Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
