i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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