I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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