I am spending my child support on dildos
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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