I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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