You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
