Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize