just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
