Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
