i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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