You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
