Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
