i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
