remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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