Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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