pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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