Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
