I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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