He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
