I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
