She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
