I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
