OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
